Fetishism or Genuine Appreciation?

What percentage of Caucasian men are fascinated with Asian women, to the extent they won't consider dating a woman of any other race?

When I was of "dating age", I didn't have access to many Asian women. Consequently, my fascination with Asian beauty didn't develop until later in my life. From my late teens until I was nearly 40 years old, I had only known "Euro-mishmash" girls (most people call them 'Americans'). After roughly a dozen short term relationships, I settled in with a nice, 22 year old hillbilly girl of German descent. Life seemed pretty good. We had respectable employment, received sufficient income, and had many similar interests. Our respective circles of friends were generally compatible with each other, and our sex life was mutually fulfilling. She loved tall, skinny boys (I was 6'3"/160_lbs) and I found her skinny little body (5'7"/102_lbs) absolutely irresistable.

I remember, early in our relationship, one day on the man-made beach at the man-made lake, near our home. We were lying on the sand, on our backs, side-by-side. I noticed how her pelvic cradle held the fabric of her bikini bottom aloft, allowing a clear view of her fuzzy little Mons Veneris, and the graceful curves between her abdomen and upper thighs. I can remember thinking, "She's suitably attired, yet . . . naked. It doesn't get any better than this". Indeed: In fact, it got worse. Her exceptionally well-toned physique was due to her avid track and field participation in high school. When I met her, she was a full-time graphic arts student, and had a full-time job as well as two part-time jobs. Her fury of physical activity left little time for fat cells to expand. One could clearly see the definition of nearly every muscle in her body.

Her lifestyle changed dramatically, immediately after she moved in with me. She dropped out of college and quit her two part-time jobs. The extent of her physical activity was reduced to little more than walking to and from her car.

Three years (and 10_lbs) later, I made the critical mistake of saying, "You know, without some sort of exercise regimen, you won't be able to keep that skinny little body forever." To which she replied: "You think I'm fat"!?! (Oh, Good Lord, here we go):

What I thought, at the time, to be a benign (even helpful) comment, I now realize served only to confirm what she already knew, but didn't want to believe. Yes, she was getting fat. From that day, each time we encountered a woman (who was fatter than she), she would make it a point to mention, "Matthew thinks I'm fat"! Obviously, our relationship was doomed.

For the next seven years, we 'went through the motions' of a marriage. Finally, on my 36th birthday (after presenting me with a lovely, framed litho of one of Monet's "Waterlilies" works), she announced that she wanted a "divor-iss". (Did I mention she's a hillbilly)? She'd found a nice 45 year old hillbilly man, in the process of divorcing his very fat, lazy, illiterate, hillbilly wife.

Great . . .

It took me just over a year and a half to prepare all the legal documents, liquidate our real estate holdings, divide the personal property, and other assets. (A dissolution of marriage, with no children involved, isn't terribly complicated, and normally would only take a couple of months. I fought long and hard in the futile attempt to avoid losing my wife).

So, for the first time in over 11 years, I found myself alone.

One interest my ex-wife and I hadn't shared was my gradually increasing fascination with all things Asian. At first, my interests mainly involved Asian (predominantly Chinese) languages, arts, and cultures. After my divorce, I began to notice how attracted I was to Asian women. Pretty faces, plain faces, "not so pretty" faces; it didn't seem to matter. I could find something beautiful with just about any Asian female. Oh, and those skinny little bodies! I've always been horribly insecure with being 30_lbs underweight, myself. I feel so much more comfortable when I'm with an 'underweight' woman.

I live in a medium-size city with a very large Asian population. The Chinese population alone, is estimated to exceed 30,000. Since mine is a 'major college town', the vast majority of Asian women are college coeds: Far too young for me to ever hope to have any sort of romantic relationship with. It didn't seem likely there were any available women my age. I wasn't really expecting to find a date: I was just "looking at cute little girls". Besides, I was already in love with someone: My ex-wife.

Lunchtime usually found me searching for the Asian restaurant nearest to where I happened to be working, that day. The food was usually 'total crap', but I met quite a few "cute little coeds". Most were very friendly, but all were obviously very suspicious of my motives. (Who wouldn't be? Even though I never consciously said or did anything to suggest I was looking for romance).

And then, it happened: I stopped for lunch at a crappy little dive, across the street from the project I was currently working on. Lo and behold! There was a magnificently thin, late 20's, cute Chinese waitress in a tiny little skirt! I smiled and said, "Hello", and she was instantly 'all over me'!

(wtf)???

I later learned she simply wanted to dump her Chinese husband and marry a US citizen: ANY US citizen! (Which is exactly what she ultimately did. I hope the poor bastard got to 'lay down' with her, plenty of times, before she 'took him to the cleaners').

The waitress who took my lunch order that day was a 40-something, somewhat attractive, exceptionally pleasant Chinese woman in a much longer skirt. I was late getting to lunch that day, so the restaurant was essentially empty. My waitress lingered around my table, chatting freely about her life, and listening intently to what I had to say. That was some of the most pleasant and interesting conversation I've ever experienced. I was completely at ease with her. Naturally, I assumed she was married. I returned for lunch, each of the next 5 days that my work project spanned. Each day, I became more enamored of her. Did I care that she's a bit 'fat'? Apparently not: Two months later, I was working in the area again, and stopped in for lunch. I learned her divorce had occurred at about the same time as mine. We had our first date, the following afternoon. Three days after that, our second date spanned 36 hours (oh my). Two days later, we moved her belongings into my home.

From our first date, until just a few weeks before the ninth anniversary of that first date, we had spent a total of five nights apart. Last Spring, she spent a month in China, visiting her aging mother. I wish I could have gone with her. Being apart from her was torturous. We haven't been apart, since she returned, and will celebrate our 10th wedding anniversary, this Summer.

This begs the question: Am I an "Asiaphile"? Do I have a fetish for Asian women?

The jury is still out . . .